Things that your wife doesn't use.. (taken from funcage.com :P)

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making Love
to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.

"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me --
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a
divorce!

And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to
me!"

And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that
she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't
eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up
the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them
away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have
had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also
gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use
because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for
Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots
you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has
a pair the same."

The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my
understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with
tears in her eyes and said, Please ... do you have anything else that your wife
doesn't use?"